Where's my map?

I've been feeling so lost lately. I thought DH and I were on the same path and I could see the road for miles ahead with only a few blind spots. But last week he totally threw a curve at me and now we're off road and out of control. I thought we had decided that he would stay in the military and finish out his enlistment to 20yrs and get his retirement which is only about 8 years away. But he has been looking at other options without me knowing anything about it. If it wasn't for the fact that we are TTC I wouldn't mind. Yes I would still be afraid of what is to come with moving home and not knowing for sure where we would live/work but I can manage that. My problem with the whole thing is that if we get out I just feel we won't be able to have another baby. We recently found out he has DNA issues and I may have PCOS which means our chances of conceiving naturally are less than normal. We've had 3 losses, 2 since we have been trying for our 3rd child and I want my Rainbow baby so badly. I feel that's the only thing that will help me heal completely. I feel like something is missing like there is a hole inside me that will never be filled unless we have another baby. I fear that if he decides to get out and we don't get to have another baby that I will resent him and it will eat away at our relationship. How do I tell him that? I try to explain the other things but how do I tell him that part of me will despise him if he takes the option for another baby away from me?